The Forum             

The Forum is an international monthly publication of Al-Anon Family Groups, that offers help and hope for the families and friends of alcoholics. Al-Anon and Alateen members share their challenges, insights, and progress along their path of self-discovery and spiritual growth. The magazine also includes topics for discussion at meetings as well as news and information from Al-Anon's World Service Conference and World Service Office. To order your subscription click HERE.

The following articles are reprinted from the May 2026 issue, with permission of The Forum, Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., Virginia Beach, VA.

Letting Go Saved Us Both

Years ago, I walked into Al-Anon. I had exhausted all my ideas and energy trying to defeat my husband’s alcoholism, which I considered a weakness of character. I tried to keep it a secret within our four walls. I lost courage when, to my chagrin, he publicly displayed uncontrolled drunken behavior. My daughter, a medical student, mentioned that if I needed help, I could find it in Al-Anon meetings. I hesitated, and the waiting period was unbearable.

Meanwhile, my husband gradually lost hope of achieving sobriety on his own. Following the advice of one of his sober friends, he checked himself into a rehab program. He didn’t last even two weeks. He begged to come home and then relapsed. That’s when I began attending Al‑Anon meetings. I got a Sponsor and persevered in applying the Steps and slogans. A lot of sleepless nights, tears, and worries continued, but eventually, I started to look at my husband with compassion, viewing him as a helpless person trapped in a bottle. I began to accept alcoholism as an illness. My brain fog started to clear. I found my Higher Power in the Al-Anon rooms and asked for guidance every day through every challenge.

I believe that changing my attitude and focusing on myself contributed to him finally finding sobriety. Today, I continue to attend Al-Anon meetings virtually as well as in person. Thanks to the worldwide fellowship, we are thriving!

By Anonymous

The Forum, May 2026

My Disease

Before Al-Anon, I knew little outside of grief. My relationship with the addicted members of my family had transformed from frustration to obsession. Without realizing it, I had built a prison in my mind, where I was convinced that I was trapped and nothing would ever change.

My mother, who has been in the program for 30 years, listened to me complain, even as it ate into our time together. Finally, she said, “You sound like an addict.” Only then did I see how my addiction to control, judgment, self-pity, anger, and dependence mimicked the signs of addiction to alcohol.

I found a meeting and have been going ever since. From the start, I knew it was where I needed to be. Without Al-Anon, my life would be terrible and completely unmanageable. Today I am someone who shares regularly in meetings and sponsors others. I now carry a sense of calm I haven’t felt in decades!

By Helena J.

The Forum, May 2026

From Quicksand to Peace

Many years ago, I heard in a meeting, “You don’t have to go to every fight you’re invited to.” As a visual person, I always pictured a fancy invitation offered to me on a silver platter. Some days, I decline gracefully; other days, I scoop it up and react without thinking.

Recently, when I was thinking about and praying for assistance from my Higher Power not to react or respond, a different visual came to mind. It was the image of quicksand. After my husband says something that triggers me, I see a patch of quicksand appear in front of me. Just as with the invitation, I have the choice to walk around the quicksand or jump in. This time, I chose to jump in. The more I talked, explained, defended, or refuted, the deeper I sank into the quicksand. No matter how hard I tried, I could not free myself and get out. Before I knew it, the conversation’s focus and the point I was trying to make were completely lost. I, too, was completely lost, swallowed by the quicksand. Meanwhile, my husband just carried on with his day.

Today, when I struggle to not react, I try to keep the image of quicksand in mind along with the choice of whether to jump in. The greatest challenge is pausing for five seconds to think before I speak. Something inside of me urges me to rush in because I just need to defend myself, make my point, clarify something, or set the record straight. In other words, I either need to be heard or be right. But “How Important Is It?”

With my Higher Power’s help, I hope and pray that I can choose serenity, avoid the quicksand, stay quiet, and move on with my day in peace.

By Maureen B.

The Forum, May 2026